At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
