Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
