I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
