I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
