Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
