LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
