my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize