I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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