No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
