i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
