I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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