I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
