lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
