I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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