woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
