brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
