glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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