listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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