I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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