she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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