does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
