He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
