I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
