heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I die, sorry about rent.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize