i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
