I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize