so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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