1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
