He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
