I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
