You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize