I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize