FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
