Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
