I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
