We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
