it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
