the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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