I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
