Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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