Are we in a gay sports bar?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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