Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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