I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
