I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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