Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
