Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
