oh god the rape fog is back!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
