he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
