If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
