I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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