I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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