theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
