don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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