We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
