I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
