btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
