please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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