He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize