he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
